The Double Life of a Commercial Fisherman's Wife
The Alaskan Tapestry of Oil, Fish & Family
Hey It’s Jenny, your home yoga hype girl!
Welcome to my weekly newsletter where I share personal insights & the best online yoga resources, handpicked just for you.
Welcome to the third issue of our April newsletter series focused on change.
I’m spinning a yarn for you this week.
It’s story time. So, sit back and enjoy the following issue about some of the more unique aspects of my life and how I use the principles of yoga to not only navigate, but thrive within unusual circumstances.
Enjoy!
This has been an exciting week.
Collectively, there was a lot of anticipation around Monday’s new moon and solar eclipse. As an Indigenous Alaskan, I found myself wading through a lot of conflicting information. While mainstream culture celebrates the Eclipse by going outside and observing it directly, many Indigenous cultures strongly urge against that.
What’s a girl to do?
In other news, I experienced a monumental shift in my day to day life: my husband came home from work.
That might not seem like headline news, but in our case…it kind of is. My husband’s job often takes him away from home for months at a time. This probably sounds dramatic, but it’s a way of life for many Alaskans.
The Way of the Alaskan Worker
Alaska has two main industries: Oil & Fish.
While these two, behemoth industries are wildly different, they share a unique characteristic - they require their workforce to spend extended periods of time away from their families.
Oil
Oilfield employees are stationed on oil rigs and refineries scattered across the state. Some commute to work via helicopters, spending their shifts on platforms in the Cook Inlet. Others work at one of the three refineries located in Nikiski, Valdez, and North Pole, Alaska.
Additionally, many reside in man camps situated in remote locations like Prudhoe Bay - AKA “The Slope”. The North Slope, the northernmost region of Alaska, is home to various groups of Alaskan Native people, a few large oil companies, and thousands of shift workers.
Oilfield employees work in 'hitches,' which are schedules that determine how they split their time between work and home. For example, my brother follows a '2&2' schedule, meaning he spends two weeks at work and then two weeks at home. While this is a common oilfield schedule, many people work variations like '3&3s' or '6&2s,' depending on factors like the company, the job, and union agreements.
My cousin is on a “4&1” right now. A great financial schedule, but personally brutal. She is always ready to come home at the end of her hitch.
Fish
My husband is a fisherman. He operates on seasonal schedule rather than fixed hitches. He goes to work when it’s time to start fishing and he doesn’t come home until all the fish are caught and delivered.
The Alaskan fishing industry includes a lot of different seasons and my husband has participated in all of them. I first met him in the fall, right before the start of king crab season. After a couple of dates, he left for Dutch Harbor. I didn’t see him again for a month.
After our son was born, my husband went to work purse seining for salmon in Kodiak. He did that for quite a few years. The salmon season runs from early summer to late fall, so my husband was home all winter. It was nice to have him around so much when our son was little.
Over the years he’s supplemented our income with various other fisheries - halibut, cod and herring, to name a few. Each fishing season requires him to leave at different times throughout the year, resulting in absences that have lasted anywhere from one to nine months.
Life in Flux
Sometimes, I feel like I’m living a double life.
When my husband is home, we become a happy, high functioning family of three. We eat well-rounded, home-cooked meals at our kitchen table, spend time together doing yard/house work, watch movies and go on adventures. We share the space of our tiny cabin in comfortable companionship, balancing the necessary give and take of family life.
Things are…different when my husband is at work. My son and I become more feral. We eat dinner on the couch while watching our favorite shows, sometimes opting out of dinner all together, preferring to graze throughout the day.
We spend days on end hanging out at my mom’s house, where we are always well-fed, if not overfed. We enjoy the busyness of her family hub and the company of people who stop by for a cup of coffee and whatever freshly baked delicacy my mom has whipped up that day.
When my husband is at work, life slows down. Days take on an aimless, lackadaisical quality. We’re like a crew without a captain, which is to say, we aren’t very productive.
It’s a stark contrast to the energy and excitement that fills the house when my husband is home - when life feels like a whirlwind of quality time, home improvements and adventure. There is quite literally never a dull moment.
The Rollercoaster of Reunion
We are currently one week in to hubby’s home time, and it’s going fairly well. After two decades of this routine, I’ve gotten pretty good at managing it.
But..I would be lying if I said I wasn’t a little overstimulated.
Quiet evenings, winding down with my book, have been replaced by late night house cleaning, YouTube and midnight snack-making sessions that would make a stoner proud.
My husband is a happy, high strung, hurricane. He loves to stay up late, get up early and squeeze every last drop out of life. Our teen is all in; high gear is his happy place.
As for me? Well…I’m adjusting.
I like to compare my husband’s homecomings to a plane landing. Sometimes he touches down smoothly and we all fall into an easy rhythm right away. Other times, it’s a bit bumpier. You know, the kind of landing where the plane finally comes to a stop and everyone in the cabin claps because they're so happy to have survived? It’s like that sometimes.
The Art of Adaptation
I honestly enjoy this way of life. My husband and I both relish the freedom and space we get when we’re apart and we appreciate our time together even more when we reunite.
It’s the transitions that get a little tricky.
My son and I always feel sad for a little while, after my husband leaves for work. We miss his presence and the energy he brings to the household. We have to handle all the little odd jobs and general upkeep he usually takes care of - tasks we are almost always under qualified for.
Taking sole responsibility for the household is stressful. So, It’s a huge relief when my husband returns home. I can finally take a deep breath, relax and share the burden.
Adjusting to living with an extra person is challenging though. Suddenly, there’s another set of expectations, opinions, plans and desires to contend with. Not to mention, our house is tiny. When you cram three adult sized people (at 16, my son is bigger than both of us) and a big, old dog into a 24x20 cabin…you feel it.
My husband and I have been together for almost 18 years. We’ve faced our fair share of hurdles, but overall, our union has been a happy one. We carved out a nice little life for ourselves, and I wouldn't change a thing.
Over the years, many people have asked me the secret behind our lasting marriage. I always joke that it’s because my husband Is gone most of the time. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, right?.
But really, it’s flexibility.
We bend so our marriage doesn’t break.
The tale I’ve told today has featured my feelings, but I know my husband does his fair share of bending too. There are many times when I know he’d rather be doing anything other than attending a school sanctioned event, or the third family dinner in a week, but he’s there. Because he loves me and he knows it matters. He bends.
I’ve witnessed this same magic in my brother’s marriage. His wife runs the show while he’s at work, expertly managing three children, three dogs and a hectic, extracurricular schedule. He takes over early morning school drop-offs, bedtime stories and weeknight dinners when he’s home.
And…I almost think it’s harder for them. They deal with these transitions every two weeks, when my brother is either coming or going. That’s just enough time to start adjusting before the script flips again. At least I get a few months to adapt!
It’s all about flexibility. I guess they’re just really good at bending.
When I say my whole life turns upside down during these transitional periods, I really mean my whole life. Even my yoga practice isn’t immune to upheaval.
When it’s just teen and me, I get up whenever I please and have plenty of time and space to practice. When my husband is home, It’s not so simple. Sometimes he sleeps in, but he usually rises with me and we like to have our morning coffee together.
My practice has to adapt, as much as I do, to the back and forth of family life. Right now, i’m practicing in my bedroom, which is a bit more cramped than the living room. My morning practice is also a little shorter, because I’m eager to wrap it up and spend some time with my guy before the day begins.
This is where practicing yoga on the mat and yoga in life intersects. My entire practice revolves around flexibility right now. The more willing and able I am to bend in my practice, the easier it becomes to do so in life.
Here are a few classes to help you infuse flexibility into your own practice, on and off the mat.
Yoga For Flexibility | Yoga With Adriene
16 Minutes | All Levels | Beginner Friendly
I love that Adriene calls attention to mental flexibility before we even begin to move our bodies. This is a multi layered practice that allows us to create the flexibility we need to thrive on and off our mat.
It’s the perfect class to do immediately upon waking. The gentle, easy pace wakes the body slowly after a long, stagnant night. It’s also short. I don’t know about you, but I’m never in the mood for a super long, asana class first thing in the morning.
10 Minute Morning Yoga Flexibility Flow | Yoga With Kassandra
13 Minutes | All Levels | Beginner Friendly
This has been a regular on my roster lately. I rediscovered it a while back and I just keep returning to it. It’s another exceptional, early morning class. It’s a little more active than the last one, but still totally manageable.
Kassandra gives us a beautiful, full body stretch here and plenty of space to consider how flexibility might serve us throughout our practice and our day.
Yoga Nidra For Deeply Planting The Seed Of Invention | Day 1 Bloom Series | Loren Runion
20 Minutes | All Levels | Beginner Friendly
I’m sharing a spring themed practice every week through the month of April. This week’s spring offering is from Loren Runion, one of my favorite Yoga Nidra teachers on YouTube. It’s the first in a series of “Bloom” themed Nidra meditations.
Loren gives us the opportunity to choose our own intention here. Why not invite more flexibility into your life? Take time to consider where your life feels strained and how you could ease the pressure with a little give and a slight bend.
Then load up this lovely Nidra, set your intention and see what happens!
I don’t have a lot to add this time. I pretty much said all there was to say!
So, I guess I’ll just leave you with well wishes for the week ahead. Have a lovely week and I’ll be looking forward to seeing you all next Sunday, when we continue to change from every angle.
You should! You have a wonderful voice and your story is very unique and compelling.
Loved getting to learn more about your family and the oil and fishing industry. I think you have the makings of an NYT, Modern Love piece here!