The Pen, The Sword, and a Path to Healing

How journaling helps us navigate hard times with courage, dignity and grace

“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you”

Maya Angelou

I’ve been journaling a lot lately. Like… a lot.

I’ve been throwing everything I can at my mental health—journaling, meditation, self-help books, podcasts, online courses, TikTok therapists, fresh air, exercise, breath work, affirmations, dancing in my underwear. You name it, I’ve probably tried it. And something is working.

More than anything else, I keep coming back to journaling. It feels like everything else loosens the knots, and the journaling is where I actually untangle them. It’s where I process, make sense of my experiences, and finally move forward.

I’m not new to journaling by any means. I’ve got piles of gratitude journals from years past, and recently, I found notebooks ranging from when I met my husband through the early years of raising our son. Reading them felt like the most bittersweet walk down memory lane. I remember that girl and those times as if they happened yesterday.

My approach to journaling has changed. Back then, it was closer to the musings of a young girl with a locked diary—pouring out my deepest desires, fears, hopes, and dreams as if preserving them for eternity. Now, my journal is more of a tool. I write with intention, whether it’s to release painful emotions before they consume me, draft unsent letters, or coax buried thoughts from my subconscious.

I no longer feel a desperate urge to create a legacy—social media takes care of that. Instead, I come to my journal to grieve, uncover hard truths, and, most importantly, to better understand myself.

If that feels like something you’re ready to explore, here are three journaling techniques that have helped me tremendously.

Airing of Grievances

Sometimes, you just need to get things off your chest. It’s healthy to feel and express the full range of emotions—and let’s be real, sometimes you’re just really f-ing pissed about the way life has unfolded. And that’s okay. We all end up there now and then

What matters in these moments is how you choose to express yourself. Because, let’s face it, those emotions are coming out one way or another. So, before you lose your shit in a regrettable way, might I suggest sitting down and spewing it all out onto paper?

This type of journaling is simple: sit down and write whatever’s on your mind. There’s no structure—just stream of consciousness. Keep going until it’s all out; I’ve filled over ten pages in one sitting.

I’ve had to do this over and over and over again. It’s honestly one of the most constructive ways I’ve found to handle life’s lemons. But here’s a word to the wise: you will cry. You will sob and stain your paper until it’s no longer legible. (Probably a good thing) So, choose your time and place wisely. Make sure you have some space afterward to rest and recharge. This kind of emotional release brings a lot to the surface, taking care of yourself afterward is essential.

You know that saying, “self-care is more than bubble baths”? Well, not this time. When you’re done, give yourself whatever you need to feel comforted. Whether that’s chocolate, a nap, a smutty romance novel, or time with a trusted friend, lean into what feels good. Pamper yourself. This process is powerful, but it’s also draining—so be kind to yourself as you recover.

Letters To No One

Although other people’s behavior has nothing to do with us, their actions can still cut deeply, and the pain often persists far longer than any physical wound.

We’re left with so many questions—why they did what they did, do they understand the impact of their choices, and will they ever truly see or hear us? We crave acknowledgment, understanding, and closure.

Sometimes, we get the opportunity to express these feelings directly, sometimes we don’t. Even when we do, the hurt remains, lingering even in the face of true remorse and our own determination to forgive.

Our next journaling practice is a letter-writing exercise shared with me by a mental health professional. It’s a powerful tool for working through feelings about another persons behavior.

The concept is simple: write letters to the people who have hurt you—but with one important rule: these letters are never meant to be sent. They’re for you alone, offering a safe space to express everything you need to say. The knowledge that no one else will read them allows you to truly let it all out.

When you’re done, there’s one final step: burn the letters. Do so safely—I used my fireplace. This symbolic act helps release the emotional weight and create space for healing.

A Path Forward

The previous two journaling practices lay the foundation for this third and final technique. It’s important to process and release emotions that result from traumatic experiences, and this takes time. I’ve poured my heart into the pages of multiple notebooks over the past three months.

When you feel ready, journaling can help you move into the next phase of healing: acceptance, letting go, and moving forward. Here’s how to approach it:

• Turn Inward, shift your focus from the external circumstances of the experience to your inner world. Reflect on how the situation has affected you—emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

• Use your journal to explore the deeper meaning of what you’ve been through. What insights have you gained? What changes or transformations are unfolding as a result?

• As you write, notice how understanding the lessons and growth within the experience can help you regain a sense of control and clarity. This reflection offers you a way forward, grounded in self-awareness and personal empowerment.

Youtube Playlist | Yoga Practices For Stiff Neck & shoulders | Multiple Teachers

6 Videos | Varying Length | All Levels | Beginner Friendly

Link: Yoga Practices for the Neck & Shoulders

When I do a lot of journaling, or writing of any kind, my neck and shoulders get super stiff. I’ll often come out of hyper focus mode and notice that my jaw is clenched, i’m hunched over and my shoulders are up around my ears. No Bueno.

The best remedy I’ve found is good ol’ fashioned yoga asana. I’ve been slowly compiling a playlist of practices that provide relief. There are only six videos, but they are all effective.

Journal your little heart out this week and then treat yourself to some neck and shoulder hygiene! Even if you aren’t feeling stiff, it’s always nice to stretch these areas of the body.

The Negative Cycle You Are In Ends Today | Hindz

11 Minutes | Appropriate For All Listeners

I’m recommending this little pep talk as a post-journaling pick me up.

Journaling is cathartic, but it also has a way of leaving us feeling wrung out, wound up, or just plain upset. It stirs up a lot and it can take time for all that energy to settle back down.

If you find yourself feeling uneasy after journaling, do yourself a favor and check out this inspired offering from Hindz. Listen with an open mind and a soft heart. I’ve listened multiple times this week and I’m sure i’ll be loading it up again. It’s that good.

Winter Magic, Death and Dignity | Spirit Sessions Podcast | Katie Silcox

20 Minutes | Appropriate for All Listeners

And here is your pre-journaling pep talk!

You’ll notice I borrowed Katie’s theme of “dignity” for the subtitle of this issue. I chose it because I was humbled and inspired by her perspective. Lately, I’ve been wrestling with the concepts of surrender, acceptance, and non-resistance—qualities I deeply wish to embody, yet struggle to put into practice.

In her quick, 20-minute “Weekly Self-Love Soundbite,” Katie encourages us to “stand in our power, in our truth, and in our dignity” by choosing to live in reality— not the reality we wish for, but the one that’s actually here, right now.

Sometimes, the hardest person to be honest with is ourselves. But when we find the courage to face the truth, it’s always worth it.

If you are intrigued by the Buddhist practice Katie alludes to near the beginning of the episode, check out this episode of the 10% happier podcast:

Okay, I have nothing to add this week. It was a wordy issue and frankly, I’m exhausted.

So have a wonderful, wordy week of your own and let me know in the comments if you have any journaling practices that you’d like to share. I’m always looking for new ideas!

See you next Sunday.