What Acceptance Really Asks of Us
And why curiosity is the antidote to unnecessary suffering
Radical Acceptance is the willingness to experience ourselves and our lives as they are.
Tara Brach
I’ve been grappling with the concept of acceptance lately. And not the fun “horsing around, wrestling with your cousins in the living room” kind either. No, this feels more like Leonardo DiCaprio fending off a bear in The Revenant.
It’s visceral. Relentless. I feel like I’m fighting for my life—like I’m under attack, and if I don’t figure out how to free myself from the sharp claws and gnashing teeth, it might destroy me.
For context…
I’ve been open about the fact that my life took an unexpected turn last October.
I haven’t shared the details of what happened, because I don’t think they’re necessary. The experience is deeply personal, but the themes that resulted from it— heartbreak, loss, uncertainty, resilience, surrender, identity, and above all, transformation— are universal.
By leaving the specifics unsaid, I hope to leave space for you to see yourself in these reflections. To connect them to whatever life is asking you to accept right now.
A Hidden Agenda
After trying so hard, for so long, to make peace with my external circumstances—to accept, forgive, let it go, and leave it all in the past—my perspective has started to shift.
What’s the point of all this acceptance, anyway? Why do I feel such a compulsive need to accept what happened to me?
If I’m really honest, it’s because I want to feel different.
I don’t want to feel sad, confused, and heartbroken anymore. I don’t want to be angry or bitter. I don’t want to live under the weight of these difficult emotions.
I want to accept what happened—and the unwelcome reality I find myself in—because I want relief. I want to feel better.
But that’s not really acceptance at all… is it?
It’s something else entirely. It’s an urgent desire to move past the raw, real pain I’ve been carrying—and to escape the discomfort of not knowing what comes next.
And underneath all of that?
Fear.
The insidious influence of fear
This situation has caused so much upheaval. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt so destabilized, so unsure of everything.
If I can just find a way to accept it, I can pump the brakes on all this chaos. I just want to settle in and stop any more unwanted change from coming.
At the root of all of this, is the fear that if I allow the questions and feelings to surface—if I truly let myself see, feel, and sit with them—they might reveal things I don’t want to know. About my situation. About others. About myself.
What if facing the truth requires action I don’t want to take? What if the life I’ve only just begun to reclaim spins out of control all over again?
That’s pretty fucking scary.
But fear is never a good enough reason to avoid doing something.
Turning Inward
Maybe my job isn’t to accept what happened—the choices, harmful actions or the bewildering behavior of others.
Maybe my job has always been to accept what all of that stirred up within me.
To accept that I am heartbroken. To accept that I am angry. That this situation feels wildly unfair. That I didn’t—and still don’t—want any of it. That these are normal, appropriate responses to abnormal, overwhelming circumstances.
Maybe all I need to accept is that I am human. That I have been hurt. And that I don’t like it.
My work isn’t to contend with an outer reality I can’t control. My work is to tend to the inner one I can.
To notice the stories, patterns and wounds that have risen to the surface. To hold space for them. And to earnestly ask: What’s here—begging to be seen, felt, acknowledged, and yes, accepted?
Curiosity’s role in acceptance
That question changes everything. It helps me shift from resisting my experience to becoming curious about it.
From trying to exile the parts of me that feel hurt, angry, or confused—to loving them.
From fighting for control—to creating space.
Space for inquiry.
For safety.
For seeing things in a new way.
Space to challenge old beliefs.
To create a new narrative.
To heal. To grow. To redirect.
Acceptance, I’m learning, isn’t a fixed destination.
And letting go doesn’t happen all at once.
It’s a slow, steady unfolding that begins the moment I stop bracing against my feelings and choose to meet them with curiosity and open awareness.
That’s what true acceptance is: the courage to feel what’s actually happening—and to trust that it won’t break me.
It will show me.
Show me where life is trying to take me.
And what I’m finally ready to leave behind.
Yoga For Depression |10 Minute Yoga Practice For When You’re Feeling Down| Caitlin K'eli Yoga
12 Minutes | All Levels | Beginner Friendly
This is the class I reach for when life feels heavy.
I first found it on a particularly low morning, and I appreciated the gentle pacing and thoughtful sequencing. Moving my body with Caitlin helped me feel a little lighter.
I also love how low-commitment it is. When i’m feeling down, just showing up for my practice can feel overwhelming. But 11 minutes? That’s manageable—no matter what state I'm in, mentally, physically, or emotionally.
Healing Yoga Nidra | Release Stress & Embrace Inner Flow | Ayla Nova
55 Minutes | All Levels | Beginner Friendly
I’ve had this practice on repeat for over a week now. Ayla creates such a gentle, compassionate space to be with whatever is alive in me—to feel it, without forcing anything to change. To move with the natural rhythm of emotion, rather than resist it.
The sacral chakra is home to our capacity to feel, connect, and flow with our emotions; and this Yoga Nidra is a beautiful way to engage with it.
The Power Of Letting Go | Young Pueblo
5 Minute Reads | For Everyone
I came across this issue of the Elevate With Young Pueblo newsletter right as I was beginning to shift my approach to acceptance.
His perspective felt so affirming—it reassured me that I was on the right track and gave me more to reflect on as I continued exploring what acceptance really means in both my current situation and life as a whole.
If this issue of Root&Rise resonated with you, and you’re feeling called to go deeper, I think you’ll find exactly what you’re looking for in this thought provoking piece.
Questions For The Week:
Am I trying to move past something I haven’t fully felt yet?
Is there something within me that’s asking to be seen, felt, or acknowledged?
Where in my life am I trying to force acceptance? How can I invite curiosity instead?
Engage with these questions in whatever way feels natural for you—journaling, meditation or simple reflection as you go about your day. Notice if any of them spark something within you and see what unfolds throughout the week. No pressure—just an invitation to explore.
I hope your week is full of all the love, peace and understanding you deserve.
See you next Sunday.
This resonated with me BIG time, as I too am negotiating a head-wrenching discovery about what I thought I knew about my life -- as you say, the details don't matter, but the bewildering struggle to metabolize the unasked-for new reality is the same. Deep thanks for sharing this.